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Today feels quieter than it should be, like the world forgot to finish a sentence, and left me here waiting for the rest of it. I move through the hours as if they are made of glass, fragile and sharp-edged, careful not to feel too much, careful not to break what has barely begun. You, who wishes to learn me slowly, to read me through the folds of my battered pages, showing me that I am still worthy of being fought for, even after all the ways I have become misshapen. Yet I cannot stop thinking about how life always seems to take something away whenever it grants a gift. The thought presses against me, jagged and unrelenting, leaving my breath uneven. For misery is not something that can be carved out cleanly from the soul. It seeps and spreads, taking the shape of the heart, settling into every crevice as if it has always belonged there. And it scares me to think this might just be another long, painful goodbye, that I’ll be carrying the same weight all over again. Still, even where the past holds me, I find a way to breathe. Perhaps it is through you, though the faith to believe it still feels fragile, like fireflies hovering between hope and the darkness of doubt, ready to dissolve the moment I reach for it. M. | you & fireflies March 2026

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Maybe it was only my echo, a version of me that never got to say goodbye to you. It sounds cruel, doesn’t it? Almost like saying I never came back to you at all, as if everything between us had been unreal. But it was never unreal. You and I both know that. Maybe that is why I reached for you again. Not to begin, but because something in me could not settle with the way we ended, or rather, the way we never did. You left without words, without goodbye, and I was left holding a story that had nowhere to land. I think, deep down, I only wanted to close that door properly. But we stayed. Longer than a goodbye should ever take. In this version of reality, I am the one who leaves. The one who walks away without looking back. Maybe I had grown tired of the beast that hope had become in my heart, or maybe I could no longer bear watching you live in fractured realities, trying to hold everyone together, trying to keep everything from falling apart. I saw that, and perhaps selfishly, I decided I should be the one to end us so the life you built could finally breathe again. A thousand little bruises linger quietly in me, small reminders of what we were, each one easing softly as I prepare to let go. And now I understand that sometimes the last act of loving someone is leaving. You said I won, because this time I was the one who left. You said it as if it were revenge. I won’t deny that I resent what you did to us back then. I don’t think I will ever fully unlearn it. But this was never revenge. I just needed my life back, and I needed to return yours to you. You said I’ve won, but to me, winning would have been a life with you, not losing you like this. I have never won. If anything, I am the one who lost everything, because in every version of this world where I choose myself, I still end up losing you, and somehow, I think I was only ever meant to come back so I could finally learn how to leave. M. | a thousand little bruises March 2026

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There is something about the ordinary that has always felt like home to me. I find comfort in the quiet rituals most people would call boring, walking slowly along the shore, watching the waves come and go as if they have nowhere urgent to be. I linger in small moments, like choosing another song that somehow becomes ours, even if nothing about it is extraordinary to anyone else. I spend a lot of time in my head. Daydreaming. Wondering. Following thoughts that do not need to arrive anywhere. There is a kind of softness in it, a permission to exist without needing to explain why. I return to the same coffee place I have been going to for years. The same order, the same corners, the same familiar hum of a place that does not ask me to be different. Not because I lack imagination, but because there is a small joy in things that remain. In not having to search, or prove, or change, in not having to introduce myself again and again. Late afternoons feel especially kind. The world slows, the light softens, and everything seems to breathe a little easier. In those hours, I listen. Not for anything in particular, just the calm itself, settling gently around me. I think, sometimes, that this is my way of being in the world. Not chasing. Not performing. Just being here, finding meaning in repetition, in stillness, in the quiet, unnoticed spaces where nothing happens, and somehow, everything does. M. | serene March 2026

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It feels different when you are with someone emotionally mature. Someone who does not run from hard conversations, who chooses to understand, who wants to work things out instead of letting things fall apart. They make space for honesty, ask you to speak without fear, and you wish you could. But it isn’t easy. You wish you could lay your mind flat, explain everything as it is, and show them exactly what’s going on inside you, where it hurts, what you carry. But the words get caught between fear and memory, between what you feel and what you are ready to admit. So you offer the simplest truth you can manage, the one safe enough to say without breaking open the rest. “I love you,” because it’s all you can give for now, and all you can let them hold. And maybe that is where the fear begins. Even when it feels right, even when someone stands before you with patience in their hands, promising to wait, your heart does not soften the way it wants. It remembers. Hesitates. Questions what is freely given. Feels a quiet pressure where there should be peace. You want them. You do. But a part of you cannot follow through, cannot fully trust what is offered, no matter how much you try, no matter how much you feel. And you stand there, holding something real, something that could have been everything, and still find yourself afraid. Afraid that one day you will wake up in a world you do not recognize, a life you were not ready to believe in, a life so beautiful it might ruin you in the end. M. | safe in between March 2026

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Maybe you were a detour I was always meant to take. An unexpected turning in the road I had to follow, even if only for a while. Perhaps I needed to see you, to know you, to understand the person I had to become before continuing my journey. It feels selfish to call it a detour, doesn’t it? What about the small home we built along the way? The one made of conversations and shared silences? I took my time there. I believed, believed, even if only briefly, that the road might end with you. But it was never selfish, not to you, and not to me. In that brief crossing, we both learned. We learned how to hold, how to forgive, how to care. Perhaps we were meant to forgive something old between us, to loosen the invisible thread that had bound us long before this lifetime. And now I see it clearly. I had to take that turn before I could continue my journey. Not because you were not enough, but because you were never meant to be the place I stayed. Maybe I wanted it to be you. Maybe a part of me always did. But you were already building a life that did not have a space for me. And standing at the edge of it, I realized gently, almost peacefully. Sometimes the road does not take you away to punish you. Sometimes it brings you there first, so you would know what your heart was meant to learn before it can keep walking. M. | the detour March 2026

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Have you ever wondered how many times a heart can begin again? Some loves arrive early, when you are still a stranger to yourself. Everything feels new and overwhelming, and you do not quite know what to do with the feelings placed gently in your hands. You stumble, make mistakes, and somewhere along the way, you lose it. Then love comes again. This time you tell yourself you have learned. You promise you will do better, be wiser, hold it more carefully. You believe that experience will somehow protect you from losing it the way you once did. Yet again, you lose it. And sometimes again after that. Then one day another love appears. It carries a familiar warmth, something that reminds you of the loves that came before it. Yet the essence feels different somehow, quieter, deeper, harder to explain. And yet, instead of dreaming about forever, you find yourself wondering when it will fall apart. Because the last time you loved, you gave everything you had. And when they left, they took those pieces with them. So now you love differently. Your hands remain half-closed, letting only the smallest particles of love slip through your fingers. Not because you no longer feel deeply, but because you cannot afford to lose much more. And perhaps, if you are honest with yourself, it is because you are no longer certain how much love remains in you or how much you are willing to let go. So you ask yourself, will this love be the kind of forever people speak of? Or will you cut your hair short again, wearing it as the story of yourself, over and over? M. | love me, love me not? March 2026

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