Coffee, Books and Everything else

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There is something about the ordinary that has always felt like home to me. I find comfort in the quiet rituals most people would call boring, walking slowly along the shore, watching the waves come and go as if they have nowhere urgent to be. I linger in small moments, like choosing another song that somehow becomes ours, even if nothing about it is extraordinary to anyone else. I spend a lot of time in my head. Daydreaming. Wondering. Following thoughts that do not need to arrive anywhere. There is a kind of softness in it, a permission to exist without needing to explain why. I return to the same coffee place I have been going to for years. The same order, the same corners, the same familiar hum of a place that does not ask me to be different. Not because I lack imagination, but because there is a small joy in things that remain. In not having to search, or prove, or change, in not having to introduce myself again and again. Late afternoons feel especially kind. The world slows, the light softens, and everything seems to breathe a little easier. In those hours, I listen. Not for anything in particular, just the calm itself, settling gently around me. I think, sometimes, that this is my way of being in the world. Not chasing. Not performing. Just being here, finding meaning in repetition, in stillness, in the quiet, unnoticed spaces where nothing happens, and somehow, everything does. M. | serene March 2026

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It feels different when you are with someone emotionally mature. Someone who does not run from hard conversations, who chooses to understand, who wants to work things out instead of letting things fall apart. They make space for honesty, ask you to speak without fear, and you wish you could. But it isn’t easy. You wish you could lay your mind flat, explain everything as it is, and show them exactly what’s going on inside you, where it hurts, what you carry. But the words get caught between fear and memory, between what you feel and what you are ready to admit. So you offer the simplest truth you can manage, the one safe enough to say without breaking open the rest. “I love you,” because it’s all you can give for now, and all you can let them hold. And maybe that is where the fear begins. Even when it feels right, even when someone stands before you with patience in their hands, promising to wait, your heart does not soften the way it wants. It remembers. Hesitates. Questions what is freely given. Feels a quiet pressure where there should be peace. You want them. You do. But a part of you cannot follow through, cannot fully trust what is offered, no matter how much you try, no matter how much you feel. And you stand there, holding something real, something that could have been everything, and still find yourself afraid. Afraid that one day you will wake up in a world you do not recognize, a life you were not ready to believe in, a life so beautiful it might ruin you in the end. M. | safe in between March 2026

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Maybe you were a detour I was always meant to take. An unexpected turning in the road I had to follow, even if only for a while. Perhaps I needed to see you, to know you, to understand the person I had to become before continuing my journey. It feels selfish to call it a detour, doesn’t it? What about the small home we built along the way? The one made of conversations and shared silences? I took my time there. I believed, believed, even if only briefly, that the road might end with you. But it was never selfish, not to you, and not to me. In that brief crossing, we both learned. We learned how to hold, how to forgive, how to care. Perhaps we were meant to forgive something old between us, to loosen the invisible thread that had bound us long before this lifetime. And now I see it clearly. I had to take that turn before I could continue my journey. Not because you were not enough, but because you were never meant to be the place I stayed. Maybe I wanted it to be you. Maybe a part of me always did. But you were already building a life that did not have a space for me. And standing at the edge of it, I realized gently, almost peacefully. Sometimes the road does not take you away to punish you. Sometimes it brings you there first, so you would know what your heart was meant to learn before it can keep walking. M. | the detour March 2026

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Have you ever wondered how many times a heart can begin again? Some loves arrive early, when you are still a stranger to yourself. Everything feels new and overwhelming, and you do not quite know what to do with the feelings placed gently in your hands. You stumble, make mistakes, and somewhere along the way, you lose it. Then love comes again. This time you tell yourself you have learned. You promise you will do better, be wiser, hold it more carefully. You believe that experience will somehow protect you from losing it the way you once did. Yet again, you lose it. And sometimes again after that. Then one day another love appears. It carries a familiar warmth, something that reminds you of the loves that came before it. Yet the essence feels different somehow, quieter, deeper, harder to explain. And yet, instead of dreaming about forever, you find yourself wondering when it will fall apart. Because the last time you loved, you gave everything you had. And when they left, they took those pieces with them. So now you love differently. Your hands remain half-closed, letting only the smallest particles of love slip through your fingers. Not because you no longer feel deeply, but because you cannot afford to lose much more. And perhaps, if you are honest with yourself, it is because you are no longer certain how much love remains in you or how much you are willing to let go. So you ask yourself, will this love be the kind of forever people speak of? Or will you cut your hair short again, wearing it as the story of yourself, over and over? M. | love me, love me not? March 2026

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Being an overanalytical person, I often find myself wondering about the smallest things. Like the time he said, “You are beautiful,” when you had just woken up. Your eyes were still heavy with sleep, your face a little puffy, your hair completely uncooperative. Yet somehow, he found you most beautiful that way. Or when you were in baggy shirts and loose pants. Or when you cried over books and movies. We grow up believing beauty means being neat and presentable. Looking like we made an effort before stepping out into the world. But perhaps the beauty someone sees when you are at your least put together is something else entirely. The vulnerability. The comfort of being completely yourself around them. It is the same feeling when someone speaks about the things they love. Their plans, their passions, the small worlds living inside their minds. Even when you understand very little of it, something about the way they light up makes them beautiful to you. Because they are not trying to impress you. They are simply letting you see a part of them that not everyone gets to see. And maybe that is what makes someone truly beautiful. When someone feels safe enough to be exactly who they are, and someone else sees that and loves them for it. The kind of beauty we do not notice at first, but remember the longest. Quiet and steady, like moonlight. Warm and alive, like a small fire. Not perfection. Not effort. Just two people, completely seen and accepted. M. March 2026

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On the day we died, we cried in the morning. We stayed in bed a little longer, touching each other’s faces with our eyes closed, as if trying to learn them again in the dark. Neither of us said much. Some words, once spoken, make the end impossible to pretend away. Eventually we rose, dressed in our best clothes, and walked to the café where we always get our coffee. The barista greeted us the way she always does, unaware that this was the last morning we would sit by the window. He ordered the same drink he always does, and I pretended to complain about it, the way I always do. Our hands brushed briefly as we reached for the cups, and I felt a quiet warmth I knew I would miss. Outside, the city moved the way it always had. Cars passed. Someone laughed too loudly at another table. The world went on, paying no mind to the ending that belonged only to us. He told me stories I had heard many times before about the summer we spent by the sea about the night we got lost in the rain and laughed until morning. After the coffee we walked slowly through the streets we knew by heart past the bookstore where we once spent an entire rainy afternoon past the park bench where he first told me he loved me. We waited for the sunset, but the clouds kept it hidden, as if the sky had chosen not to witness our last evening. Then the darkness settled and the road before us quietly parted. He took one path, and I took the other. And just like that, we died. Or perhaps I died first, for I stayed behind long enough to see him walk away without ever glancing back. M. | the departures March 2026

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