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Yesterday Still Lives Here The heartless passage of time always leads me back to that same road, the one I’ve wandered a thousand times in my mind. “It’s all in the past," they say, as if words could build walls strong enough to hold the things that refuse to be locked away. As days fade into years, memories swell into an endless sea within me, and its waves—restless and unyielding—return again and again, breaking against the fragile shore I’ve tried so hard to protect. I still ask myself—why can’t I let go? Why does the future press against me when there is no promise I will ever walk beneath its light? And how am I meant to stay anchored in the present when the past pulls me backward and the future whispers forward—each unwilling to let me be? But destiny has always been a stubborn thing—when it comes, it does not knock softly. It arrives like a tide you cannot outrun, and all you can do is step aside and let it pass. And fate? Fate does not wait for readiness, nor does it ask for permission. It moves through you like a ghost—cold, unseen—leaving only shadows where something whole used to be. And maybe that’s why I’m still here—still wiping tears from my face with the worn fabric of yesterday, still cradling the broken edges of a story that no longer belongs to me. M. | March 2025


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Perhaps the part of what's frightening me is not only the pain I'm feeling now. It's also the pain I'm not feeling. I keep looking at that wall and wondering what it's holding back. If this is how much I hurt with it still standing, what happens if it comes down? The thought follows me everywhere. It sits beside me at work. It waits for me in the quiet. It gnaws at whatever sanity I have left. But what if my mind is not storing all of this grief behind a dam waiting to burst? What if it is already doing what minds are designed to do? What if it is carrying the weight the same way a river carries rain. Not all at once, but as it comes. A little when I cried during my lunch break. A little when a song catches me off guard. A little when I am alone with my coffee and there is no one to distract me from myself. A little when a memory drifts across my mind without warning. Perhaps the wall is not hiding a flood. Perhaps it is simply teaching the water how to pass through me without drowning me. Not all at once. Just enough for today. M. June 2026

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