Skip to main content

It feels different when you are with someone emotionally mature. Someone who does not run from hard conversations, who chooses to understand, who wants to work things out instead of letting things fall apart. They make space for honesty, ask you to speak without fear, and you wish you could. But it isn’t easy. You wish you could lay your mind flat, explain everything as it is, and show them exactly what’s going on inside you, where it hurts, what you carry. But the words get caught between fear and memory, between what you feel and what you are ready to admit. So you offer the simplest truth you can manage, the one safe enough to say without breaking open the rest. “I love you,” because it’s all you can give for now, and all you can let them hold. And maybe that is where the fear begins. Even when it feels right, even when someone stands before you with patience in their hands, promising to wait, your heart does not soften the way it wants. It remembers. Hesitates. Questions what is freely given. Feels a quiet pressure where there should be peace. You want them. You do. But a part of you cannot follow through, cannot fully trust what is offered, no matter how much you try, no matter how much you feel. And you stand there, holding something real, something that could have been everything, and still find yourself afraid. Afraid that one day you will wake up in a world you do not recognize, a life you were not ready to believe in, a life so beautiful it might ruin you in the end. M. | safe in between March 2026


from Chocolate & Thoughts https://ift.tt/3bGcp1u
via IFTTT

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

I met my twenty-year-old self and said, "I can finally afford all the books you used to stand in the library holding for a little too long. The ones you memorized from the back covers because buying them was out of the question. The ones you promised yourself you would own someday." She smiled. Then she glanced at her phone. "Dad's waiting outside." In that moment, I felt the distance between her life and mine all at once. M. June 2026

from Chocolate & Thoughts https://ift.tt/5UrbdXQ via IFTTT

Perhaps the part of what's frightening me is not only the pain I'm feeling now. It's also the pain I'm not feeling. I keep looking at that wall and wondering what it's holding back. If this is how much I hurt with it still standing, what happens if it comes down? The thought follows me everywhere. It sits beside me at work. It waits for me in the quiet. It gnaws at whatever sanity I have left. But what if my mind is not storing all of this grief behind a dam waiting to burst? What if it is already doing what minds are designed to do? What if it is carrying the weight the same way a river carries rain. Not all at once, but as it comes. A little when I cried during my lunch break. A little when a song catches me off guard. A little when I am alone with my coffee and there is no one to distract me from myself. A little when a memory drifts across my mind without warning. Perhaps the wall is not hiding a flood. Perhaps it is simply teaching the water how to pass through me without drowning me. Not all at once. Just enough for today. M. June 2026

from Chocolate & Thoughts https://ift.tt/GcUjDxb via IFTTT

Father's Day always arrives carrying two versions of time. One tells me it has been eleven years. The other tells me it was only yesterday. I have lived entire chapters of my life without you. I have grown older. I have become someone you never got the chance to meet. There are stories I still wish I could tell you. Small things. Important things. Ordinary things that somehow matter because they happened to me. And every Father's Day, I find myself reaching across a distance that cannot be crossed. I wonder what you would think of the person I am now. I wonder if you would be proud. I hope you would be. I hope you would see how hard I have tried. How I kept going on days when I wanted to stop. How I carried the lessons you left behind, even when I was afraid, I might forget the sound of your voice. The truth is, I still miss you. Not only in the big moments. Not only in the milestones. I miss you in the quiet parts of life. When something good happens and I wish I could tell you. When something hurts and I wish I could hear you say my name. When I see fathers and daughters together and feel that familiar ache return. Eleven years later, love has not disappeared. It has simply changed shape. It lives now in memories. In photographs. In stories. In the person I became because you were once here. And today, more than anything, I hope you knew how much you were loved. Happy Father's Day, Dad. I miss you still. And I think I always will. M. 21 June 2026

from Chocolate & Thoughts https://ift.tt/s1ovpS0 via IFTTT