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Life felt blurred for so long. And when it finally began to come into focus, I found myself struggling to keep still in a world that suddenly felt too bright, too loud, and somehow still too lonely. I wish things could be a little easier. But then I wonder, how easy do I really want it to be? People tell me I do not lack anything. From the outside, everything seems to be in order. The things I need to take care of are taken care of. My responsibilities are never left undone. The people I love are still within reach. I have everything, right? Then why do I still cry at night? Why does my heart still ache from wounds I thought had already healed? Why do I still carry the weight of all the words I never said, the feelings I never shared, and the battles I quietly fought alone? And then it hits me. I am not okay. Maybe I was never truly healed despite all the efforts I made to stay afloat. Maybe I was not recovering. Maybe I was only surviving. M. July 2026


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